Monday, February 12, 2007

The Funeral Was "Beautiful" - The Chemo Begins Today

Apparently it was a beautiful funeral with a baby blue casket and a lot of flowers.

Steven's entire graduating High School class showed up. It was 90 minutes long and the town virtually shut down.

Like my cyber-rock Kenn I wonder if the small town that gave West Hollywood the gift of Steven celebrated the life of a man taken by AIDS or by Lymphoma.

Since no mother should bury a child (did I mention that Steven was the second of her sons to succumb to AIDS?) I will reserve judgment.

Some of the guys are very angry that Steven wasn't buried here. I don't share that rage, I wonder if it's just exhaustion.

My mother in law is due to begin chemotherapy today. The doctors have given her a 50% chance of getting to remission.

My children are frightened and there's nothing I can do to allay their fears. The fear that their Grandmother will die is a real and reasonable one. They are also saddened by Steven's death but they take it in stride.

Adam and Eve want to know that Mom and Dad are healthy.

They want to know what would happen to them if we died.

They worry that their Uncle smokes.

They see their strong father sad and suffering this is new and unusual.

I can only hold them, show them our fitness and tell them that G-d needed Steven to keep the other angels happy. I tell them that I'm hopeful for Grammie but no one is really sure, Daddy just needs us to all be very good for him.

It's a difficult moment to be a Jew, we don't discuss the afterlife, we don't dwell on it, we simply march on.

I'm teaching Adam and Eve to march forward, shoulders squared even when your eyes are watery.

I'm very afraid.

6 comments:

googiebaba said...

Hi Housewife, thanks for wishing me luck. I want to send your mother-in-law good wishes as she goes through chemo.

Googie

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

I truly am speechless. All I can say is (((hug))).

Mamma said...

Man you deserve a break from all of this illness and death. I can't imagine!!

Kenn Chaplin said...

OMG...No you didn't, not that I recall anyway, mention that Dean's brother also died of AIDS.

Have I mentioned that my brother, like me, is living with AIDS?

In the case of Dean's family "burial" is the proper terminology. Seems like they've been buried themselves fir years.

All good wishes to your mother-in-law. Your attentiveness to your children's questions and concerns seems so warm and familiar to me - feelings I recall with recognition of my privilege. :)

((Housewife))

Kenn Chaplin said...

P.S. I've added the magazine article I referred to.

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